REVIEW: Uncultured by Daniela Mestanyek Young

 

I read this book because one of the podcasts I listen to - Women and Crime (go listen!) - has a book club and this was this month's pick.  Boy, it was a heavy one. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Review will include mention of rape/sexual assault.

This is a brutally honest and open account of Young's time in the Children of God cult as a 5 year old child. It opens with her as a child standing in line to get spanked by an uncle - not a blood uncle, just one of the many adult men that she interacts with in the cult. The women are "Aunties." As the youngest, she's the last in line so she has the added cruelty of watching all the other children go first and anticipating her turn. She sees her mother, and runs to her, only to be coldly told to return to line or face additional punishment. SHe still gets additional punishment - 9 swats instead of 3 - and then forced to hug the man spanking her.  

The memoir itself is also replete with not only stories of what it was like to live on communes, but of abuse in Young's life at the hands of members of the community and her attempts to find alife both within and without the cult, including high school, the Army and marriage. She belonged to the Children of God (now called The Family International), a cult founded in the 60's, that focused on turning sexual modesty on its head. Quite frankly, it seemed to promote human trafficking and child sex abuse. Famous members included Rose McGowan and Joaquin and River Phoenix (whose family got out ASAP when they learned about what was going on). Ms. Young certainly doesn't shy away from the details of how she grew up, though I appreciated the tasteful way she handled describing the child sex abuse that she experienced growing up (because quite frankly - child sex abuse is horrific and not ever tasteful). She was raised to never reject the advances of men and she really struggled to break away from that behavior as an adult. 

Ms. Young writes masterfully well and her story is compelling and sometimes moved me to tears. It took me longer to read this book then normal not because I didn't enjoy it.  The book itself was amazing and offered me a peak into cult life as experienced by Ms. Young.  But there were periods of heaviness that warranted me putting it down for a bit and returning to it later on.  I'm so happy that I read this book and that Ms. Young wrote it - I sincerely hope that it was therapeutic for her and that it helps her along her path.  She is an inspiration - she perseveres, is brutally honest with herself and others, and is so, so brave.  

Highly recommended.